Surrender: to give oneself up; submit; yield
All to You, I surrender
Everything, every part of me
All to You, I surrender
All of my dreams, all of me
No turning back, I've made up my mind
I'm giving all of my life this time
Your love makes it worth it
Your love makes it worth it
Your love makes it worth it all
*The lyrics to the song above gave me new meaning during worship at a friends Three-O meeting last Friday night with a recap of their recent Chile Mission Trip. I couldn't contain myself. I kept crying during this song. I know God was speaking to me, to surrender ALL of my dreams (including teaching in my own classroom right away) and to give Him everything, every part of me. Often times we listen to worship music, but sing it as we sing any song. That evening, this song contained new meaning to me and God revealed to me that I need to really surrender my will and trust Him with where He's guiding me, no matter the cost.
It's official. I'm almost a Teacher. I have 5 weeks left of Student Teaching and then I will have my California Teaching Credential. So, what's next? Good question. I'm not quite sure, but I know it will be an adventure because it is all in God's hands and He has a plan that I can't even imagine. Lately, my focus has been on this idea of possibly teaching in Africa. I have a huge heart for the kids in Africa, and would love to be a teacher there. At times, it's been hard to focus on teaching here with all the stuff going on in Public Schools and New Teachers most likely not getting hired.
As I reach this turning point in my life, I wonder to myself, what's next for Life as Ms. Elder. Will I teach in a Public School? Will I teach in a Private School? Will I teach at a Charter School? Will I teach in Africa? Will I teach in my own classroom at all in the fall or will I be a Substitute Teacher? Will I even be a teacher my first year with my Teaching Credential? As of now, I have no idea what's next. There is one thing however that I know I will be doing and that is serving God and seeking His guidance in all of this. I know that He is preparing me for something big He has in store for me, but I don't know exactly where or when it is yet. That's where the adventure part of it comes in!
As I was driving home from Solan Vista's Open House tonight, the song by Chris Tomlin came on the radio titled "I will Follow You" and the first part of it says Where You go I'll go, where You stay I'll stay, when You move I'll move...That is exactly where I'm at in regards to my future and what's next after Student Teaching. Where God goes, I'll go, where He stays, I'll stay, where He moves, I'll move. My desire is to follow Him and His will for me, wherever that may take me. It has taken me a while to reach this point, but I'm finally at a place where I've surrendered my will and plans and I'm now open to His will and plans for me. God knows my heart and my passions, even more than I do, so of course wherever He leads me will be far greater than anywhere I can ever see myself. I know I want to teach and I know I love children. If and when I ever get discouraged about it, I listen to this song, and also go back to something the Lord revealed to me during worship sometime. He told me this:
Katie, stop thinking so much about others. What I call you to do is not for everybody and not everybody will understand or support you in it. But I will provide you with everything that you need. Do you trust me? I will provide your needs if I open the door for you to stay in Ghana longer than 2 weeks. Don't try to figure that out now. Stop trying to figure out what I've got next for you. I know the desires of your heart and I will give you them. You have to rely on me daily though. Stop worrying about your future..it's in my hands. Just be willing and open and I'll take care of the rest.
That being said, I'm willing and open to where He goes, where He stays, and where He moves...so that I can follow Him with all my heart. Another thing that I go back to for encouragement is a word my mentor and friend gave me in January 2010. It says this:
Katie, don't compare. Don't contrast. Come to me open-minded, and let me direct your path, for I may have a completely different path for you. Yes, you are chosen. Yes, you are loved. Yes, you are a friend of God. Now watch, and see how the Son of Man turns your whole world upside down for His glory. Glory to God! Shout, glory to God, and in all things, no matter the depth of experience.
I think it's pretty clear what God wants me to do with Life as Ms. Elder...surrender.
Ya know what the Latinese say? A totally dead language, I know, but still has maaany significant qualities in today's MadMax cult-ure. TOTUS TUUS = Totally Yours = could be sed in your situation, too, if you think about it. Easy if you take it apart, Miss Teach: TOT-us [TOT-ally] + TU-us [that comes from France right next to Italy; also, the TU is personal, while 'vous' is more foreign. Cool? I have a whole lotta gobbsa info I wanna share with you when we git to Heaven --- Dunno if anyone's ever told you this, but you're attractive to me and even more so in Heaven where I'll have to, like, shield my eyes from the lovelyness; I can see the true beauty underneath when the transitory world looks for the superficial. Truer words were never spoken. Why would you have any doubt when I'd die-for-you in an instant if you were the adorable girl of my dreams? So, meet me beyond the clouds, miss gorgeous, and we'll have total gobs of fun at my party-hardy celebrating our resurrection. Kissing your adorable feet is a must, girl. God bless you.
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